My heart is torn between East and West. I live somewhere between the present and the past. I don't know who I am.
HEBRON: A group of hard-line Israeli settlers living in the West Bank town of Hebron are looking to rebrand themselves because of what they claim is the stigma connected with the word ‘settler’. The group, which say they have faced “extreme prejudice and discrimination from the international community” due to the term, are hoping that the move will help sway opinion in their favour.
“For too long the world’s liberal, anti-Semitic media has been attempting to dirty the word ‘settler’, linking it with negative thoughts and associations,” said group spokesman Abraham Sterwheel, a Brooklyn-born settler who moved to the Occupied Territories two years ago.
“Every day we hear one-sided news reports about settlers taking over Palestinian homes in East Jerusalem, or settlers arming themselves to the teeth with automatic weapons and attacking Palestinian villagers, or settlers building illegal developments inside Palestinian territory under the absurd justification that its theirs because of some biblical birthright. But they never speak of the good things settlers do, such as wear nice hats or grow luxuriant beards.”
The group have been working on a new brand identity with international public relations and marketing company Bell Pottingshed – whose other clients include Bashar Al-Assad, Joseph Kony and Bowel Cancer. This revamped image is set to be rolled out across the whole West Bank over the coming weeks.
“We’ve decided to discontinue the term settler because of the unfair connotations that have been attached with the word,” said the group’s marketing officer Shlomo Shun.
“Our new identity, which we will soon be using across all marketing material and shall be urging all journalists to use, is Divine Inhabitant of Choice.”
According to Shun, a series of internet videos is in the pipeline showing various Divine Inhabitants of Choice – or DICs – engaged in “positive” activities, such as playing football with children, running slowly along sandy beaches and cradling cute kittens.
“And of course, they’ll be doing all this wearing nice hats and having luxuriant beards,” he added.